Day #3 "Things that make me uncomfortable"

Every moment of my life I try to start anew as opposed to keeping some kind of running list of things that irk or frighten me.  I know I have them, but I hope that by focusing on more positive things, the negative will fall off my ego.  Maybe one of these times, I'll just wake up to the now and love it.

But who am I kidding?  Fuck racists and homophobes.

I've already talked about something that really fightens me in a previous blog titled, Getting On With It. 

But more so, the thing that makes me most uncomfortable in life are people that are unable to "see the big picture."  I put quotes around those words because I don't assume anyone can really see the big picture clearly or know what it is.  It's like pointing into pitch blackness and saying I can see what "that" is.  That's preposterous!  But someone who doesn't acknowledge the blackness is just as bad.

Brandon!  What the fuck are you talking about?

At least I don't believe in numerology!  I heard a guy last night at The Red Cup say repeating digits have special meanings.  Like 444.  "I woke up at 4:44AM every night for two years."

He said he believed in the Bible 100% and how there was a code.

You can bet I felt uncomfortable, and it actually took me talking myself down from not just going over there and telling him what a moron his is.  I mean, someone needs to tell people they are just fucking wrong sometimes.

All I could think of was the sun.  What use does the sun have for the numbers 444?  It burns and what...every time the Earth spins around 24 hours (at 4:44AM) an anomaly happens that wakes up spiritually gifted quacks in the night, making them sweat about numbers?

And lets assume there is some "flavor" to the energy that exists at different points throughout the day.  By knowing this and becoming familiar with it, we can...?  Save people from car accidents? feed the hungry, disarm nuclear bombs, stop sarin gas use in Syria?  No no no and no!

So what's the point?

Power? Control? Feeling significant.

He was telling this shit to some poor bastard that was just trying to have a cup of coffee in peace, but that guy didn't have the heart to or thought he should be polite instead of tell the guy to fuck off.

And honestly, who doesn't want to feel like their life matters?  Just being born to die without changing anything in the course of existence or simply just consuming a bunch of shit sounds pretty terrible.

But that doesn't mean we make shit up and say how we have out of body experiences so often "I need Xanex." And maybe that gets us around full circle to what makes me uncomfortable.

I feel uncomfortable when a person around me can't just take a step back out of their shit and talk about life like the personal charade it really is.  For instance, fundamentalist christians or muslims who can't talk about their doubts in their faith...hipster kids that believe that the bottom of another bottle will make things better...academics with all the right answers...ferver without humor...sadness without sick jokes...death without a smile...conflict without compassion...dread without camaraderie.

So this is my plea people.  Just relax.  We're all gonna die someday and that sucks for everyone.  Let's try to enjoy this blink of time we get to be conscious in this universe because before you know it, you'll turn back into stardust and radiant heat energy floating aimlessly in the "blackness" of space.